Dial-a-prayer and tell them they're wrong

Me- AC, what's the phone number for dial-a-prayer?
AC- Uhh, let me look it up. It's 1-800-4HEAVEN.
Me- Thanks.

I dial and get this buzzing excited feeling when it starts to ring.
Then an answering service picks up for this "divine" something-or-other company. I hang on for a minute just to make sure it was the wrong thing.

Okay, don't freak out, I tell myself.

Me- AC? That was the wrong number.
AC- I just found that out to, sorry.
Me- That's okay. I'll look it up this time.

How often do you want to just bow down and worship google?
Jiminy. It saves me every time. It lifts me up when I have fallen. It comforts me when I am sad. Need I say more?

Well, this time I'm prepared for failure or jackpot when I hear the familiar buzzing ring. Then....
A voice. Calling me friend. Telling me they are glad I called dial-a-prayer. I wait breathlessly as the voice goes on.

And on. Ohhhhh. I have come to a realization. As this voice is scripting from the book of Job, comforting me, and expressing it's sympathy, I feel anguished that no real person has picked up! What if I had an urgent prayer? What if I really did need to tell them they were wrong? How in the heck could I tell them?! They made me feel worse than I did to start with. What. A. Bummer. Allors, mes amis, I would advice NOT to dial-a-prayer when you need one, because, rest assured, you ain't getting one.